Singlehood vs. Marriage: An Analogy
I didn’t want to be the whiny, woe-is-me single girl always writing about being single, but since that IS my experience these days, that’s what I’m writing about anyway. I’ll keep the whiny and woe-is-me to a minimum. Plus, I was excited about this analogy and wanted to share it.
I want to include a few disclaimers before I begin. To start with, I really do like hearing about how much a person loves his or her spouse. Love in marriage is positive and good, and I do like to hear about it. Besides, if I expect to be able to talk about my experience, being single, then it is only fair of me to listen to others talk about their experience, being married. That’s how I see it. It’s only when people start exuding the attitude of “this is the way it should be for everyone” or “you’re not a real person until you’re married” that I start getting a bad attitude. Oh, and if you know me at all, you know that I LOVE kids. So I like hearing stories about people’s kids, too. Most of all, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against marriage. Well, abusive relationships and the like have no place in marriage, so I am against that, but I am all FOR healthy marriage. We like those. They are good.
To me, being single is like having lasagna every week for Sunday dinner… when the majority of the people around me always have pot roast for Sunday dinner (for the record, I have had pot roast many times, but for the sake of this analogy I’ll pretend I never have). So, here I am eating lasagna, which is fantastic, but people around me keep telling me how much MORE fantastic pot roast is. “You haven’t had Sunday dinner, it’s not a REAL Sunday dinner, until you’ve had pot roast,” they say.** And that’s easy to imagine as I see them enjoying their pot roast. It looks good, it smells good, and I imagine that it is satisfying. And I really would like to have pot roast someday. But I still really like my lasagna. It looks, smells, and tastes good, too, and it also fills me up. I feel good when I eat lasagna. I like lasagna. But (seemingly) everyone else really loves pot roast. “I remember lasagna,” they tell me, “but wait until you try pot roast. It’s so much better.” But remember that whether you’re eating lasagna or pot roast, it’s still Sunday dinner. Life is still life, and the people eating Sunday dinner are the same people whether they’re eating lasagna or pot roast. It’s just a slightly different experience.
**I imagine that couples without children have a similar experience: “You don’t have carrots with your pot roast? Well, it’s not pot roast without carrots. You need carrots with your pot roast to make it complete.” And so forth…
That’s as far as I have taken it. I’m sure eventually I can make it deeper, take it different directions, find different applications. Yep. Eventually. But this is all I have for now. I guess the main point is that even though pot roast is wonderful to some people, that doesn’t mean that lasagna is bad. It’s just something different to have for Sunday dinner. So there you go.
Have a great Sunday dinner!